It's 11 PM. Baby is finally asleep. You sit down, and suddenly your brain explodes with thoughts:
"Did I pack extra diapers for tomorrow? When was the last time I washed the bottles? Need to buy milk powder. The car seat needs cleaning. Doctor appointment next week, did I confirm?!"
Sound familiar? This is the mental load, the invisible, never-ending to-do list running in your head 24/7. It's exhausting. And nobody sees it.
What Is This 'Mental Load' Everyone Talks About?
Think of yourself as the family's project manager. You're not just doing tasks—you're remembering, planning, organizing, and worrying about everything:
- Remembering when to restock baby essentials
- Planning meals that baby will actually eat
- Tracking vaccination schedules
- Noticing when clothes don't fit anymore
- Worrying about whether baby is developing normally
Your partner might help when you ask, but YOU are the one who has to remember to ask. You're the one carrying all this information in your head. That's the mental load and it's draining.
The 7 Small Changes That Helped Me (And Can Help You)
I'm not going to tell you to meditate or do self-care face masks. Let's be real—you barely have time to shower. These are practical changes that actually reduce the mental burden:
1. Keep Emergency Supplies in the Car (And Stop Thinking About It)
How many times have you panicked: 'Alamak! Forgot to bring diapers!' Then you spend 20 minutes looking for a pharmacy while baby is crying?
Here's what changed my life: I keep a permanent supply in the car. Not just one or two diapers—a proper stash. A jumbo pack of nappy bags, extra wipes, one emergency outfit, small towel.
Now when I leave the house, I don't run through the mental checklist anymore. It's there. Always. The mental space this freed up? Incredible. I stopped using brain power to remember things that can just... be there.
2. Choose Products That Work (So You Stop Worrying)
You know what adds to mental load? Using products that don't work properly. Then you're constantly thinking: 'Will this diaper leak during the drive? Does this bag actually contain the smell? Do I need to double-bag this?'
I used to use cheap nappy bags from the pasar. Half the time, they'd tear. The smell would escape. I'd worry about stinking up the car, the changing room, everywhere.
When I switched to bags that actually seal and neutralize odour, something shifted. I stopped thinking about it. Just tie, throw, done. No second-guessing. No anxiety. The mental relief was worth every extra ringgit.
Same with towels and wipes. When they're soft enough and strong enough, you're not worried about baby's rash or the towel falling apart mid-bath. You just use them. Less worry = less mental load.
3. Make a 'Refill Station' at Home
Every time you run out of something, you have to remember to buy it. That's mental load right there, carrying a shopping list in your head.
I designated one spot in the house—a drawer near the changing table—for all refills. Diapers, bags, wipes, powder. When I restock, I put extra there. When something's running low, I see it immediately.
No more mental notes: 'Must buy diapers.' No more last-minute Shopee panic orders. Just check the drawer, restock once a month, done.
4. Bundle Products You Always Use Together
I used to pack the diaper bag fresh every time. Thinking: what do I need? Diapers, wipes, bags, cream, change of clothes...
Now? I have a small pouch with everything that ALWAYS goes together: nappy bags, travel-size wipes, one diaper. It stays packed. When I grab the diaper bag, I just throw in the pouch. No thinking required.
This works for everything. Bath time bundle: towel, soap, lotion in one basket. Bedtime bundle: sleep sack, white noise machine, night light. Grab and go. Your brain will thank you.
5. Handle Messes Immediately (Even When Tired)
This sounds counter-intuitive, but hear me out. When I used to leave the dirty diaper on the changing table thinking 'I'll throw it later,' guess what happened? I'd think about it. All day. 'Must throw that diaper. It's still there. Starting to smell.'
Now I have a nappy bag right there (just like our Pikalula Nappy Bags). Change, seal in bag, tie it up, drop in bin. Takes 10 extra seconds. But it removes the item from my mental to-do list immediately. The trash is handled. My brain moves on.
Same with spit-up clothes, spilled milk, whatever. Clean it now = stop thinking about it now. Less brain clutter.
6. Set Up Systems That Your Partner Can Follow (Without You Explaining)
Part of the mental load is being the only one who knows where things are, how things work, what needs to be done.
I labeled everything. The drawer with diapers says 'DIAPERS.' The basket with bath stuff says 'BATH.' Sounds simple, right? But now when my husband needs something, he doesn't ask me. He finds it.
I also created routines that anyone can follow. Morning routine is written on the fridge: milk, diaper change, get dressed, breakfast. Evening: bath, bottle, story, bed. Now grandma, kakak, or daddy can do it without asking me 100 questions. Less questions = less mental load for me.
7. Accept 'Good Enough' (And Stop the Guilt)
The biggest mental load? The guilt. Guilt about not being a perfect parent. Guilt about using disposable diapers. Guilt about letting baby watch TV while you cook. Guilt, guilt, guilt.
Here's what I learned: 'Good enough' is actually good. Baby is fed? Good enough. Baby is clean? Good enough. Baby is loved? Good enough.
The house doesn't need to be perfect. The toys don't need to be all educational and wooden. You don't need to make your own baby food from organic ingredients. Your baby needs a present, calm parent more than they need perfection.
When I let go of perfect, I freed up so much mental space. Choose what works for YOUR family. Not Instagram's idea of perfect. Not your mother-in-law's idea of perfect. Yours.
The Real Goal: Less Thinking, More Living
These seven changes didn't make my life perfect. I still forget things. I still get tired. I still worry.
But I'm not carrying as much in my head anymore. I've offloaded the mental burden to systems, to products that work, to routines that make sense.
And you know what? I have more energy for the stuff that actually matters. Playing with my baby. Having a conversation with my husband that's not about diaper inventory. Actually enjoying this crazy, messy, beautiful season of life.
Start with one change. Just one. Maybe it's keeping supplies in the car. Maybe it's choosing products that actually work so you stop worrying. Maybe it's just giving yourself permission to be 'good enough.'
Every small change adds up. Every bit of mental space you free up is space you get back for yourself. For joy. For presence. For actually living this life instead of just managing it.
You deserve that. Your family deserves the version of you that's not drowning in mental load.
At Pikalula, we get it. Parenting is hard enough without worrying about whether your products will work. That's why we design everything to just work—scented nappy bags that truly contain odours, eco-towels soft enough that you never worry about baby's skin, convenient packaging that makes restocking easy. We're not here to add to your mental load. We're here to lighten it.